My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really." What about that eye patch?" Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye." You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."And the pirate replied,"It was my first day with the hook."This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.What makes life 100%?If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Zis represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Then:K N O W L E D G E11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%H A R D W O R K8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%But,A T T I T U D E1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%And,B U L L S H I T2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%So, it stands to reason that knowledge and. She asked me if I would like her to do anything extra thatwas not already on the list I had given her."No, but I would like to have a chicken dish for dinner. But don't youhave to get ready for work today?" Oh, no. I took the week off as you requested so I could serve you."I knew this must have been very hard for Amy to give up a week ofvacation to be my servant. I remembered I had suggested that she mightneed to take time off to fulfill my desires but I was kidding. I did notexpect her to follow though with my bombastic request."Anything in particular?" What?" Would you like a specific chicken dish made for you tonight?" No, surprise me."After an uneventful day at work I returned home to a clean house thathad the smell of roast chicken wafting through it. In retrospect Ishould have complimented her on all the work she had completed but Ididn't even acknowledge it. Instead I had Amy give me a back massage. Ishould have been more appreciative of all the hard work she put in todaybut I.
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